Caring for our elderly grandparents :)

It is very hard watching our family members get older and watching their bodies and minds slowly degenerate. As I watch this stage of my grandmothers life, it humbles me that I even still have her in my life to ask questions and get advice. But that privilege has been exhausted as her dimentia sets in. In the last five years, she went from being a healthy weight with her own beating heart, to now weighing 75-80 lbs and needing a pacemaker to keep her love muscle pumping properly. She forgets who we are sometimes and gets disoriented very easily. As I see her need assistance in everything from getting up in the morning, to going to the bathroom, I feel the weight of guilt heavy on my heart. I wish there was something more I could do for her! I wish I could take her out of her home and have her with me but that would be impossible as I have to work and get to school and do the things in my life that keep me afloat. My grandmother, my moms mom, is only 86, and in very bad shape. She has given up on her physical therapy because she just has no energy and is always tired. I brought her a piece of homemade apple pie the other day and she didn't really know who I was, which is really hard. I love her and pray that she gets to go Home and be with her husband, my papa someday soon. Her quality of life has deteriorated so much that I doubt she has felt joy in a long time, even when we take her for walks and out to lunch. She mostly is worried about her next bathroom visit or simply getting the sandwich to her mouth. I take care of myself so as to never end up this helpless. She smoked cigarettes for 40 years and ate terrible while never working out. I am an avid health foodie, Zumba instructor, dance instructor and future nurse. Thankfully I have the information today that can guide me in the right direction to lead a healthy life. I treat my stress with exercise or a night with the girls and I definitely don't smoke or drink in excess. I'm thankful for my blessings, even my cute restaurant job. I am thankful for all the people I have met in my life and for my family and for my grandmother who I am fortunate to still have. I am going to see her today to turn this very awkward morning around.. between my double shift at the jobby :) I will appreciate every customer as I always do, who is not dissecting me from start to finish. Thankfully I have my team on my side, including the owner and management, and I will bring all the elderly customers an extra special smile today :D because they deserve it! In honor of my grandma, thanks for reading!